Chapter One

As some of you may know I have been working on a book for a little over a year now. I have gone through several drafts and outlines. I have thrown away a multitude of crap writing (which at one point I thought was great lol). I have been researching how to be a good and entertaining writer and I am hopeing that I have finally figured out just how to do. But want to make sure I've hit the mark. So I am sharing the first chapter with you.

Obviously not everyone is going to like what I have wrote, but I want to see how close I am to a good first chapter. So would you be a pal and read this over and let me know what you think. Be harsh I can take it. I am determined to write a book that gets on the New York Times best seller list, and constant and true feed back is one of the ways to make yourself a better writer.

Have at it and enjoy.


Missing hearts
Chapter One

“Hurry up sleepy bones, the wagons all packed we need to leave”

“What?” Tzack said his voice cracking with the nights unuse.

His father stood over him his thick tawny brows accentuating his weather worn face. A bushy beard that often hid a cheerful smile, now lent itself well to the stern disposition that Tzack saw before him.

Tzack sat up and looked around the cozy one room cabin that he had lived in for all of his eight years. The wooden shelves that lined the walls on which had perched much of what his family held dear only the night before, now lay empty exposing the dust and dead bugs that one only finds when everything is moved. The barrels of corn meal and bacon, mothers squeaky spinning wheel, father’s long rifle from over the fireplace, all gone. Only the family table and the big bed on which Tzack lay remained.
Father handed Tzack his britches, course work shirt, and hat then gathered Tzack’s bedding from under him.

Tzack tried to blink the sleep from his eyes. His brain an uncomprehending mush. He stumbled in the dawn light trying to slip his clothes over his nightshirt.

“We’re leaving for Voltern” His father said curtly and stepped out the front door.

The rising sun cast dark shadows through the thick crystal green forest leaves that surrounded them. The old wood wagon lay before him, with the white muslin cover on it that only got put on for long trips. Tzack’s stomach turned in excitement. They where leaving the cabin. In all his eight years Pa had only ever taken him three times to Rough River  and now they were going to Voltern and that was supposed to be 10 times as big as Rough River. Tzack looked around trying to spot his older sisters.

Rachel was walking up the mossy hill herding their goats up from the small wood barn, her long woolen skirts ruffling in the wind. .He ran down to met her, his bare feet traveling easily over the twigs and rocks that lay haphazardly about. “We’re going to Voltern!” He exclaimed.  
“Yes we are” she said gently and she smiled at him, but the smile did not reach her eyes. She paused for a moment and looked around at the massive crisp brown oaks trees and almost effervescent foliage, that surrounded their beautiful little home. “I bet you didn’t even think to ask why we are leaving” she said and at that moment Tzack realized with a start that the smile she was wearing was not hiding sadness, as he had thought but fear. She was scared of something, but she was halfway up the hill before he thought to ask her just exactly what it was.

Coming up the hill behind him was Emily, she would tell him what was going on. She was leading Ruby the big milk brawn from the barn. Emily’s brow was furrowed on her long face. Her cascade of black hair that was usually tied up tightly in a braid at the base of her neck, fell down her back in a loose ponytail.

Emily’s expression changed when she saw Tzack “Good morning little slug” she said mischievously. “You were sleeping like a rock this morning, could have sworn you would have woken up with all of the noise we were making.”

“What’s going on.” Tzack demanded.

“Were leaving” Emily said

“I can tell that, why are we leaving?”

Emily lifted her brows.“Well, fairies came and told Ma and Pa that the world was going to end tomorrow so we are heading to the mountains to get a better view.” Emily said as they finished the walk up the hill and she tied the brawn to the back of the wagon.”

“Really?” Tzack asked half believing her. This was Paradise after all who knew what was out there in the woods.

“No, silly” Emily said rubbing his head.

Tzack wandered around to the front of the wagon, clearly Emily was not going to tell him what was going on. Sarah just a few years older than Tzack sat in a bright blue dress holding the leather reins of the families two bay maires. He climbed up in the creaky seat next to her. He was now unsure whether he should be scared or excited, or both.

“Don’t suppose they told you know what is going on.” he said.

“Nope” she said in her sweet gentle voice, her freckled nose wrinkling in frustration. “But nobody ever tells me anything”

“Looks like we’re ready to go.” Mother called from the other side of the wagon. She pulled her small frame up onto the seat with Sarah and Tzack.

Mother must have read a little too much into his expression because she said “Don’t worry your little heart over a thing. We’ve just got to get the family to the town. That’s all, nothing to fret over” Mother smiled but Tzack could see fear in her eyes.

Tzack’s might not have been scared before but now his stomach rolled. Mother was clearly scared and nothing ever scared Mother.

“No how about you hop off the wagon and help Emily and Rachel with the goats.We’ve got a long trip in front of us.” Mother said as Father took the reigns from Sarah.

Tzack sauntered back, and father yelled “yah” and the wagon jolted forward.

The day quickly turned sour as the clear blue sky was overcome by depressingly gray clouds, a mushy blawness seen through the foliage above. The animals became restless as the little family haphazardly guided them down the road. They bawled in complaint when Tzack or his sisters pushed them back on track.

The rain came first in a drizzle. Wetting the brim of Tzacks worn hat. Dripping over the edge and spilling onto the now muddy earth. The wagon wheel sucking at the mud beside Tzack as it dug into the road spraying mud spin after spin spoke after spoke.

The first thunderclap made Tzack jump, as it shattered the sky around him with lucid terror.  The restless goats jumped the brawn bawled out.

Pa stopped the wagon.

“Gather the Animals close before the fog” he yelled his sweat soaked shirt clinging to his massive arm and chest.

Mother was quick behind him. Slipping gracefully through the rain. She forcefully grabbed the brawn who was on a lead on the back of the wagon. She pulled the massive beast close in to the wagon. Pa unhitched the nervous horses and tried to calm them as they stamped their feet and pulled against the reigns he tied them next to the brawn. The rest of the family herded the goats in. Once gathered they huddled close by and under the wagon trying to find shelter from the gathering storm.

Tzack’s clothing was now soaked in the tepid summer rain, but he felt chilled as the winds picked up, whipping his clothing around him.

Another bolt of lightning lit up the sky around them. Followed close by a bone shattering thunderclap. The horses bellowed and pulled at their leads. One of the goats leaped and jumped tearing away into the forest. Without thinking Tzack chased after it slipping in the mud as he went. He could hear his father yelling behind him but Tzack did not stop for fear of losing the goat.

The forest was dark despite it being midday and the rain began to fall so thick that it almost blinded Tzack. The goat was fast and Tzack’s thin legs struggled to keep up. Each lighting strike sending the goat into new panics. Tzack stopped realizing he would not be able to catch the goat. He breathed hard as he fought for breath.

The rain stopped abruptly and Tzack found himself alone in the dripping forest. Tzacks heart stopped. If his parents had drilled one thing into his head it was that he should never be alone in the forest after a flash rainstorm.

And as they had always told him it would wet hot fog swept out of the ground around him. Tears welled up within him as thoughts of the beast that haunted his dreams crowded his mind, leaving no room for anything else. He was frozen to where he stood, the threatening mist curling menacingly around him.

How could he be so stupid. He tried desperately to remember what Pa had told him to do if he ever got caught out in the fog. But all he could think of was unseen beast jumping out at him, tearing out his tender throat, and leaving him lifeless on the warm moist ground.

Thunder rippled in the distance shaking him from his paralyzing fear. Instantly he remembered what to do. He flew to the ground crouching in as small a ball as he could. He wrapped his shaking hands over the back of his neck covering the unprotected skin, and waited. There was nothing else to do but wait for the fog to lift, and pray a Slider did not find him.

He closed his eyes and listened anxiously to the hidden forest around him. The smell of decomposing life resinating in his nostrils.

A desperate voice called his name from somewhere in the fog.

“Mom!” Tzack called out then covered his mouth. Pa said you must be absolutely silent when the fogs came and the Sliders were out. Then why was Mother calling him? Didn’t she know about being quiet? Of course she did, that was silly.

“Tzack” Mother called again this time a bit closer.

“Mom!” Tzack called out again his voice shaking. He couldn’t help himself. Soon she would be here, her warm soft arms around him and everything would be okay.

Unseen the the fog the bushes in front of him rustled. He looked up “Mom” he said in a quiet hopeful voice.

No one answered. His heart pounded in his chest. If that was a slider would he be able to run and get away before it attacked? If he did get away, would it attack mother when she came to get him.

“Tzack!” Mother called again this time from only steps away.

The thing before him scuttled towards mothers voice.

Not even hesitating for a moment he cried out, and sat up exposing himself. He waited for what he knew would happen next.

The fog lifted ever so slightly and he spotted his mother a few paces away, her dress was asku and ripped in places, but her face was alight with relief. Tzack felt momentarily safe but that was fleeting as he saw the crouching Slider, triangular to him and his mother.

It’s skin was slick and wet like an amphibian. Although not very big it’s body was powerful and strong like a cat. It had no eyes for it only hunted in the fog and did not need them. It’s lips were pulled back exposing it’s long poisonous fangs.

The beast hesitated for a moment seeing the two victims before it. And at the same moment that it leaped stretching it’s deadly form at Tzack mother through herself between Tzack and the beast.

Tzack’s heart sank as he watched the beast jaws close around Mother’s outstretched arm. They landed sprawled across the wet leaves.

Tzack kicked at the beast’s ugly head, but it still clung tight to mothers arm. Mother cried out in agony as it pushed off taking a piece of her arm with it, and scampering away into the foggy forest.

Blood gushed from mothers fore arm. She grunted with pain as she ripped a strip of cloth off the bottom of her dress. “We need to stop the blood.” She gasped “Help me wrap this”

Tzack did the best he could with his unskilled hands to help tie off the bandage. Mother looked satisfied with the results. “Now lets get back to the wagon” She said “Before any more of those beasts find us.”

Mothers usually strong gait quiver more and more the farther they walked, the mist making their movements a lot slower that Tzack liked. This walk seemed like an eternity and he began to fear they would not reach the wagon before mother collapsed.

Finally mother stumbled and did not get up. She gripped her arm close to her and moaned.

“Get up mother” Tzack said “we have to get out of the forest”

Mother did not respond. She moaned again and closed her eyes.

Tzack grunted as he pulled one of her sturdy legs, she slid slowly across the misty forest floor. But Tzack realized he did not know where the wagon was. "Mother” he said shaking her. “Where’s the wagon!”

She just lay limp.

Tzack wanted to cry out for help but did not want to risk attracting the attention of the slider again. The fog was growing think again around them. Tzack searched for some sort of weapon to protect themselves against the sliders if the were to return but there was nothing but small loose branches and dead leaves in his immediate vicinity. Frustrated Tzack wanted to cry. Mother shouldn’t be hurt probably dieing. Stupid goat why did it have to run out into the forest.

Then with a sudden insight he gathered as much debris as he could and spread it over mother. He hoped this would provide adequate protection against the sliders, until the fog lifted and they were safe again.

Tzack nuzzled down next to mother covering as much of himself as possible, then he lay perfectly still, hardly daring to breath. HIs heart beat rapidly in his chest, and the heat of the warm ground beneath him making him ever so uncomfortable.

He held his position listening desperately to any noise in the forest around him. He thought he heard something moving over.

Mother was so quiet and still beside him. Was she already dead. He had to get her back to the wagon. He couldn’t just wait for the fog to rise and her to die, but he didn’t know what else to do

A gunshot reverberated through the tree’s. It was close. Tzack stood up. He pulled mothers leg again dragging her to the direction of the gunshot. She was limp and unresponsive.

Just a few paces from where they were the forest opened out onto the road. Where had the gunshot come from? He called out blindly “Help!”

“What’s going on?” It was a man’s voice, and he was close.

“A sliders attacked my mother” Tzack said trying to locate the source of the voice.

A man stepped into view holding a rough looking rifle. Tzack recognized him at once. It was Mr WIlk’s he, along with the rest of his family were their closest neighbors. He was strong and broad like father, but several years older.Tzack wished that it was anyone else but Mr Wilks that was here to help for Mr Wilks scared him almost as much as the sliders did.

“Aint you the Cohen boy, and what in the name of the creator were you two doing out in the forests during the fog.” He said harshly as he knelt down next to mother.

Tzack did not like the way Mr Wilk’s looked at mother. Something about the way he looked her up and down sickened Tzack, and with all that Tzack had just been through he could not answer. Tears fought there way out and spilled onto his flushed cheeks.

Mr Wilks swung his gun around his back and picked up mother gruffly, “Stop your crying child, and tell me where your pa is.”

“Pa’s with the wagon but I don’t know where that is” Tzack managed to get out as he tried unsuccessfully to hold back the flow of tears.

“It must be farther up the road then. I’ll have my Martha look after her until the fog clears.” He carried mother easily over the road and in a few steps a small covered wagon materialized. A fat pig, and a scrawny old horse stood nervously by the back.

“Martha,” Mr wilks called “Get out of the wagon and help me.”

A small frail woman crawled out of the wagon. She was followed by two large teenage boys and a petite girl who was about Tzack’s age.

Tzack wasn’t sure that this was better than the forest. The two boy’s Sambar and Pallus teased him mercilessly the few times they had been together.  And the little girl, Bunny, was worse because she was a girl and girls were sneaky, plus you weren’t supposed to hit a girl.

Mr Wilk’s placed mother roughly on the road, then took up his gun turning away to peer out into the fog. Mrs Wilk’s sat down delicately next to mother. Her frail boney hand brushing away the damp leaves that still covered her. She felt mothers forehead, and bent over her placing her ear to her mouth listening for breath.

“Is she dead?” Pallus, the smaller of the two boys, asked.

“No, not yet” Mrs Wilk’s said “But her breath is shallow.”

“It’s her arm” Tzack said trying to be helpful.

Mrs Wilks nodded. She gently lifted mother’s arm. Blood had completely soaked through the bandage. Ever so carefully Mrs unwrapped the bandage. “Was it a Slider?” Mrs Wilks asked.

Tzack nodded.

Then we better let the wound breath and let the poison leach out.

Blood continued to ooze but it was slower than before.

“What are we going to do?” Tzack asked.

“I’ll do everything I can, but I’m no healer, our best chance is to wait for the fog to lift and get her to a healer as fast as possible.”

“But she might die!” Tzack said desperately wanting to do anything but wait.

Mrs Wilks looked up at Tzack sadly “Don’t you worry your precious soul about that. Your mother is a good woman. She will go to heaven if she passes over.”